Self-Care for Productivity and Sanity
Years ago I read a book, or a blog post, or something (sorry to not give credit where credit is due) about a mom who was comparing herself to a tomato plant.
She said she felt like her kids were big plump ripe shiny tomatoes and she was the shriveled up brown crusty vine that was feeding them, giving them all the nutrients while they sucked her dry of her life.
It stuck with me.
I will not be this plant.
Even with 10 kids, I will not be sucked dry.
Ok, I admit, I may have been this plant in the past. But 2023 is going to be my year! My year for self-care!
Self-Care is NOT Selfish
A few years back I was at a conference for foster parents. One speaker's focus was on self- care, which was just beginning to be a trendy topic at that time.
"How many of you practice self-care?" She said.
No one raised their hand.
I looked around the room and to tell you the truth, we all looked like hell.
Foster parents, and parents in general, can be a pretty independent bunch.
If there’s one thing I have trouble with, it’s asking for help when I need it.
I’m the one who help people, right?
How am I supposed to help people if I need help, too?
I am missing the mark here. This is straight up sin- PRIDE.
So, what’s up for self-care in 2023?
1.) The Block Schedule.
I learned about block-schedules from watching videos by Jordan Page.
Simply put – Break up your day into sections.
This will help you manage your tasks and not be running around all day, frantically busy, but not really getting anything done.
For example, you might have a morning routine block, then work block, then cleaning block, then family time block.
This relieves so much stress because you know you’ll get everything done in the day.
There is a time for everything. You can get into the flow with your work and not have mom guilt because you know family time is done.
Your work block is done, so you can relax and devote yourself to your family.
I’ve been using this block schedule idea for over a year now and it has helped immensely.
But this year, I’ve decided to change the order of things. In a daring move, I’ve decided to …. Drum roll...
Put myself first for once!
But wait, how can this be? I have 10 kids right, I’ve GOT to put them first, right?
Turns out you really can’t pour from an empty cup. And so far this year, filling my cup spiritually, physically, and mentally FIRST is working beautifully.
Want to know see my blocks?
Block 1 - GET THE BOYS READY FOR SCHOOL
There’s no getting around that this has to happen first. My two wheelchair kiddos catch the bus to school, and we have to start early in the morning to get everything done for them that they need.
Block 2 – SELF CARE
While the rest of the kids are getting up, eating breakfast, and getting ready.
I drink tea on the lanai with my husband, get some sun on my face, work out for 30 minutes, take a cold shower (LOVE THIS!), do my skin care routine, get dressed, make my bed and pray (I connect these two habits to make sure they get done).
If this sounds pretty basic to you, let me assure you that it is way more than I was doing for myself before.
I had gotten really good at making my bed and praying. The unmade bed being a nice big reminder that I hadn’t spent any time with the Lord…
But it was not uncommon for me to get through half the day and realize I hadn’t changed out of my pajamas.
Block 3 – WORK
This is my most major difference – Block 3 is my WORK block when it used to be HOMESCHOOL.
What?! Prioritize work over my own children!!! Unthinkable!
But actually, it’s been awesome. All the kids have their own schedules they are following, and the bigger kids all have some schoolwork they can get done independently.
They also have animals to take care of and they have been enjoying a morning swim. No screens are allowed at this time so I challenge them to get a little bored sometimes, get creative and find something to do.
I can get somethings done, some things checked off, and off of my mind. This makes me a better mom later on in the day.
During my work block, I spend the first part of it working on my writing goals, then I knock out my ministry goals for the day.
Block 3 – LUNCH
Well, breakfast for me. Me and Joey have been intermittent fasting for over a year now and we love it. I eat my breakfast at 11:00 and then I make lunch for the kids.
Look how much I got done today and its only 11:00!
BLOCK 4 – HOMESCHOOL
Now that I am nice and full and happy after breakfast, I can devote myself fully to the kids for the next 3 hours.
By getting my work out of the way first, I free up my mind to prioritize the homeschooling!
Block 4 – HOUSEWORK
Cooking and cleaning gets done here. Then dinner, and kids' bedtime routines.
Block 5 – MORE ME TIME!
My evening routine includes more skin care, more tea, lots of snuggling with the littles, heart to hearts with the bigs, and decompressing with the hubs.
Followed by jumping in my nicely made bed for planner time, journalling, and reading – all things that I love.
2.) The other major change I’ve made this year that is helping me immensely is stepping up my planner game.
For years, I’ve been using a bullet journal, and I’ve absolutely loved it.
I get a pretty lined journal and carry it everywhere. I fill it with everything that fills up my brain.
I also had a monthly calendar that I carried around to keep track of the insane number of appointments we have.
This year, I added a real planner.
It’s not too elaborate. It includes the monthly calendar, and it also has a weekly goals list page and then small space for daily planning.
I still do the brain dump in my bullet journal, but then I break my to do list down by the week and focus on 3 must do goals for each day.
I just love the dopamine hit I get from checking off the boxes and the feeling of success when I get all my items done for the day (there’s only 3 so its manageable).
On the weekly goals page, I added a little habit tracker. It’s just a list and I draw 5 boxes next to each item. These are all for self-care habits. Mine are – exercise, 2 quarts water, turmeric/ginger tea, and writing.
Like I said, the check marks are sooooo satisfying.
Next, I added a health journal.
This has been simple and amazing. It’s just a monthly calendar that I got for free at the back.
Each night I write down, how my mood was, energy level, whether I exercised, completed my habits, ect.
It just takes a few minutes, but it’s already been incredible for recognizing patterns. For example, right away I could tell that the good mood days are the ones where I exercised and took the cold shower.
Finally, I added a Wins journal.
Here I just list out what I did or learned that day. From the simple things I got done, to something I may have learned from a video or book and want to solidify in my head. I also may list a mistake I made that day, and what I can learn from the fail…..
And then I praise God for it all!
This year I refuse to be a shriveled-up vine.
I’d rather be a mustard tree.
Reaching for the sky,
An producing many seeds.
2023!
Less than a month gone by,
Looking AWESOME already!
Taking care of ME,
And giving God the glory!
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